Monday, 12 October 2015

How to be a Stereotypical YA Heroine - THE LOOKS EDITION! :: bookwormies with high blood pressure BEWARE



Bookwormies! Today I bring something WONDERFUL to the blogging table! Something that you have been looking for all your bookish life! And that is: How to be a Stereotypical YA Heroine™!!

We all know how much us bookworms despise *cough* LOVE nothing more then a great big stereotype shoved in our faces when we're reading a book! And what's a bigger stereotype then the Stereotypical YA Heroine™?! HMMM. So today I'm bring you a handy dandy list on how YOU can become THE Stereotypical YA Heroine™ of Stereotypical YA Heroines™! Everyone will LOVE want to kill you! And it's all thanks to me! Aren't you lucky bookwormies?!

I'm (hopefully) going to be breaking this into parts, like today's edition is all about the looks, next time might be completely different! And PLEASEPLEASEPLEEEEASE tell me in the comments about your most loathed stereotypes about YA Heroines!!!!! I'll compile them in my next post and it'll be SKOOKUM!!

THE LIST - LOOKS EDITION 101

1.) Have thick red hair! If it's not red, you can't be a Stereotypical YA Heroine™! Also, readers just LURRRVE nothing more then you going into minuscule detail being told what type of red it is. Sunset, fireworks, fire, flame, apple, marker pen, brick...WHATEVER YOU LIKE. Just remember the beauty is in the detail. Funnily enough, even though 98% of Stereotypical YA Heroines™ have red hair...in the real world, only about 2% of the human population have red hair. I DON'T GET IT. WHY THE OBSESSION WITH RED HAIR.

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 2.) Bite that lip! Stereotypical YA Heroines™ spend 42.8% of their time gnawing away like a hysterical chipmunk on their lips. It's very bad for a Bookwormie's blood pressure reading about lips being bitten THOUSANDS OF TIMES and I swear it sends us to early graves, but authors must consider that a good thing BECAUSE THEY KEEP ON DOING IT. *explodes*

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3.) Have the most amazing skin where NO pimple/acne/bubonic plague/SKIN PROBLEM has ever touched. At this rate, your readers will more then likely planning your painful death which might possibly include stuffing you in a barrel and throwing you off a cliff, but I swear this is GOOD thing, as it means they like you. (It doesn't, but shhhhh, don't tell them.)

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4.) Be very attractive, but be teeth gnashingly ignorant of it and go around wailing about how UNattractive and ugly you are until everyone wants to kill you. This is a good thing! You're not likable till you're unlikable! And every teenage girl struggles with insecurities about themselves and their looks so you going on about how ugly you are when it SOSOSO OBVIOUS YOU'RE NOT, does wonders for our self worth.

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Well that was fun! I'm pretty sure it raised my blood pressure to about Mount Everest level BUT THAT'S OKAY! The things I do for the book blogging world, sheesh. Anyway, this is just four things I can think of off the top of my head about YA Heroine Stereotypes in the looks department but there are many, MANY more!! Tell me your pet peeves about that make you you want to commit mass heroinecide with a fork!! They can be about any aspect of a Stereotypical YA Heroine™!

21 comments :

  1. Bwahahaha, I love this. I totally agree about the red hair thing. WHY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

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  2. Replies
    1. I knoooow. Authors stop doing writing these things!

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  3. Hahaha this was perfection. You must also have some sort of oddly specific scent that defines you.

    Sarah @ The Reading Petal

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    1. Yesssss, thanks Sarah! I'll put that in my next post! xD

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  4. Yes, yes and YESSSS! Ohmygod the lip-biting.... You should do males as well because they always have the smirks and eyes that stare straight into your soul.....

    Also! they AAALWAYS have a quirky best friend who is actually wayy better than the MC but of course we can't have that flawed and quirky best friend as the main character so we have to have a clueless good girl who falls for the bad boy?!

    In saying all this though I do enjoy a wee cliche every now and then.

    Great post, Ella! It made me laugh and it's painfully relatable!

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    1. Thank you! OMG YES YES I WILL DO MALES!! haha that will be so much fun!

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  5. I can't stop laughing Ella, this is brilliant. It's because red heads are supposed to be feisty and speaking from experience, we're really not. But you wouldn't see a redhaired male love interest, because society doesn't see them as attractive and authors tend to choose tall, dark and handsome. Oh yawn.

    I can't say I've ever seen ' her hair was as red as a house brick' though. It's so tropey, the lip biting, the 'oh I'm just average' but POW, they're really a knockout. I think there must be some guidebook for authors where they offer some sort of checklist because so many of them are ALL. THE. BLOODY. SAME! Awesome post Ella, laughed my ass off <3 <3

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    1. Oooooh, are you a red head, Kelly??!!! xD MAYBE THERE IS SOME TRUTH ABOUT THE FEISTINESS AFTER ALL! x)

      Awwww, I'm glad you liked it!! x)))))

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  6. This. Is. EPIC. Seriously, I am slow clapping and nodding along, because YES. SO much yes. The red hair thing is ridiculous. Ridiculous! And the skin thing has always driven me bananas. I mean, we live in a time/place where we have time to take care of our skin, and teens STILL have acne on the regular because it's freaking biology! How are these bitches running through the damn woods while still looking like a Covergirl ad? Nope. I LOVE the "NO pimple/acne/bubonic plague/SKIN PROBLEM", because seriously! They live in filth and squalor, and no one has any lesions!? And amen to the "I'm soooo ugly (just kidding, I'm gorgeous because that dude said so)" girl. Make that stop! I just love this!
    Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight

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    1. Shannon, thank you SO much for your lovely comment! Absolutely made my day!! I'm so glad you like and agree with all my list, haha xD

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  7. This is so true! Why do they all have red hair?! Also, the green/blue/hazel/purple/rainbow coloured eyes... THAT would make you one of the typical heroines. I mena, it's not bad having that kind of eye colour (I'd love to have eyes not brown!), but... they're not so common! Amazing post!

    Vane at Books With Chemisty

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    1. Yes! THE RAINBOW EYE COLOURS OMG! Soooo adding that to my next post! :) Thank you!

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  8. The red hair one OMG. Now, I can't stop thinking of Clary from City of Bones. And the lip-biting. How pesky! And when they complain about their great looks and all the downfalls it brings them. Mary Sue Central, really. Excellent points!

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    1. Haha, I was thinking of Clary too!! xD Urgh, lip biting made me think of Bella from Twilight :/

      Thank you! :)

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  9. Ha, I love it! The lip-biting thing ... I'd never thought of it before, but it's so true O.o

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  10. Kelly makes a good point with red brick coloured hair, but I have to say: marker pen hair. That wins it for me. "My hair was the colour of a fierce red sharpie". I would read a book that started off like that. Possibly. I guess I'm a typical heroine, nowadays, since I dyed my hair! Noo *spiral of woe* ooooo. This reminded me so much of Beauty Queens by Libba Bray. If you haven't read it, Ella, I recommend it with all my might. Especially since you used the TM. *laughs* xx

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