I am currently in the the jaws of a hideous monster THAT IS SLOWLY SUCKING ALL THE READING JUICES OUT OF ME.
I call it: THE SLUMPY MONSTER.
Sometimes called a Reading Slump but I think THE SLUMPY MONSTER sounds better.
I am slowly but surely shrivelling up into a grumpy, wizened walnut of a bookworm and it. is. horrible. Someone save me!
So in my distressed state I've written a list of all the different reading slumps I can think of. There a many different types of this foul and disgusting monster so I have written a list! Behold the list!
- 1 -
The, Lives-under-your-bed-and-sucks-out-your-reading-juice-while-you-sleep-so-when-you-wake-up-and-you-JUST-CAN'T-READ-you panic-wildly-and-start-hyperventilating-and-you-won't-be-able-to-read-a-WORD, Reading Slump.
There a not many more horrible things then waking up one day and just feeling like you'd rather eat a toaster then pick up a book. And the more you try and force yourself to read the worse the reading slump gets. From personal experience it's best to just to put the book (and the toaster) down and back away till you're a safe distance away and pretend books don't exist. This task is made slightly difficult if, like me, your existence IS books but PFFFT, tiny problem, tiny.
- 2 -
The, Hits-you-over-the-head-with-the-weight-of-a-seven-story-library-and-leaves-you-with-the-capibility-of-a-squashed-snail, Reading Slump.
This reading slump is sure to generate tears, incomprehensible rage and just that oh, so delicate emotion of feeling like your brain is about 3.7 seconds away from exploding whenever someone mentions the word, 'book'. You actually feel like you might injure yourself if you even look at a book so I really advise you to not go anywhere near a library least your brain might explode from all the angry emotions.
|MY POOR LIWTTLE BRAIN.|
- 3 -
The, Oh-I-ate-to-many-wonderful-books-and-now-everything-tastes-of-disapointment-and-angst-and-unfortunate-things, Reading Slump.
You know when you read amazing book after amazing book after amazing book after amazing book? And you feel AMAZING and so HAPPY...and then you read a book that is so hideously BAD that you're not even sure how it got PUBLISHED and you want to crawl under your duvet and stay there till the next ice age. And you absolutely can't even THINK of picking up ANOTHER book because you're terrified it'll be as bad as that BAD BOOK and you don't want to give yourself any more brain damage then necessary. So basically: GOODBYE BOOKS! See you sometime in that ice age I was just talking about.
- 4 -
The, 'YES!!-I-just-got-over-a-horrific-reading-that-left-me-as-capable-of-reading-as-a-goldfish!'-but-then-you-see-all-the-books-you-have-to-catch-up-on-and-fall-into-an-even-more-horrible-reading-slump, Reading Slump.
Now THIS reading slump is not ONLY horrible it's CRUEL. It's like being whacked in the stomach by an elephant and then having it sit on you and have a nap for good measure.
|ADMIT IT THIS GIF IS PERFECT.|
- 5 -
The, I-hate-words-i-hate-books-I-HATE-READING-AND-ANYTHING-CONNECTED-TO-IT, Reading Slump.
THE BELOW GIF SUMS IT UP PERFECTLY. THE END.
Basically: I NEED YOUR HELP! I need fabulously frabjous recommendation FAST!! Quickly now before THE SLUMPY MONSTER gobbles me up! I need wonderful books that have blown your minds to smithereens, crushed your souls and have made you curl up in pain that the book is over!
(oh and before you go, tell me what YOU do to get out of a reading a slump!!)