Monday, 10 August 2015

The Different Kinds of Reading Slumps :: Introducing THE SLUMPY MONSTER


 

 I am currently in the the jaws of a hideous monster THAT IS SLOWLY SUCKING ALL THE READING JUICES OUT OF ME.

 I call it: THE SLUMPY MONSTER.

Sometimes called a Reading Slump but I think THE SLUMPY MONSTER sounds better.

I am slowly but surely shrivelling up into a grumpy, wizened walnut of a bookworm and it. is. horrible. Someone save me!

So in my distressed state I've written a list of all the different reading slumps I can think of. There a many different types of this foul and disgusting monster so I have written a list! Behold the list!

- 1 -
The, Lives-under-your-bed-and-sucks-out-your-reading-juice-while-you-sleep-so-when-you-wake-up-and-you-JUST-CAN'T-READ-you panic-wildly-and-start-hyperventilating-and-you-won't-be-able-to-read-a-WORD, Reading Slump.

There a not many more horrible things then waking up one day and just feeling like you'd rather eat a toaster then pick up a book. And the more you try and force yourself to read the worse the reading slump gets. From personal experience it's best to just to put the book (and the toaster) down and back away till you're a safe distance away and pretend books don't exist. This task is made slightly difficult if, like me,  your existence IS books but PFFFT, tiny problem, tiny.

http://cos.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/14/25/53a060b60c173_-_tumblr_inline_mk1rh6fdcy1qz4rgp.gif

 - 2 -
The, Hits-you-over-the-head-with-the-weight-of-a-seven-story-library-and-leaves-you-with-the-capibility-of-a-squashed-snail, Reading Slump.

This reading slump is sure to generate tears, incomprehensible rage and just that oh, so delicate emotion of feeling like your brain is about 3.7 seconds away from exploding whenever someone mentions the word, 'book'. You actually feel like you might injure yourself if you even look at a book so I really advise you to not go anywhere near a library least your brain might explode from all the angry emotions.

http://i.imgur.com/98ppWA0.gif
MY POOR LIWTTLE BRAIN.

- 3 -
The, Oh-I-ate-to-many-wonderful-books-and-now-everything-tastes-of-disapointment-and-angst-and-unfortunate-things, Reading Slump.

You know when you read amazing book after amazing book after amazing book after amazing book? And you feel AMAZING and so HAPPY...and then you read a book that is so hideously BAD that you're not even sure how it got PUBLISHED and you want to crawl under your duvet and stay there till the next ice age. And you absolutely can't even THINK of picking up ANOTHER book because you're terrified it'll be as bad as that BAD BOOK and you don't want to give yourself any more brain damage then necessary. So basically: GOODBYE BOOKS! See you sometime in that ice age I was just talking about.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IQY9ASVh2ak/UO1ilYSJOLI/AAAAAAAAAao/2KPLTNkKW5E/s1600/%23dead+enjolras+feels+no+omg+nope.gif
- 4 -
The, 'YES!!-I-just-got-over-a-horrific-reading-that-left-me-as-capable-of-reading-as-a-goldfish!'-but-then-you-see-all-the-books-you-have-to-catch-up-on-and-fall-into-an-even-more-horrible-reading-slump, Reading Slump.

Now THIS reading slump is not ONLY horrible it's CRUEL. It's like being whacked in the stomach by an elephant and then having it sit on you and have a nap for good measure.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/c087ac46e62a4b75e7b8d27943f833f0/tumblr_inline_myhjluPqV71r8ayy5.gif
ADMIT IT THIS GIF IS PERFECT.


- 5 -
The, I-hate-words-i-hate-books-I-HATE-READING-AND-ANYTHING-CONNECTED-TO-IT, Reading Slump.

THE BELOW GIF SUMS IT UP PERFECTLY. THE END.

http://whatsarahread.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/113/2014/08/angry_7c0934_660289.gif





Basically: I NEED YOUR HELP! I need fabulously frabjous recommendation FAST!! Quickly now before THE SLUMPY MONSTER gobbles me up! I need wonderful books that have blown your minds to smithereens, crushed your souls and have made you curl up in pain that the book is over!

(oh and before you go, tell me what YOU do to get out of a reading a slump!!)

12 comments :

  1. -The Mara Dyer trilogy by Michelle Hodkin
    -The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
    -Vicious by V.E. Schwab
    -basically any novella/companion novel from a series you like already

    If I'm in a reading slump, I usually take a break for a few days and peruse Goodreads until I find something interesting. Good luck on getting out of yours! :(

    Annie @ Indoor Sojourner

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  2. Haha! Reading slumps are the worst! I hope you get out of this one soon. I find reading lighter books or middle grade usually helps me out, or an old favorite like Happr Potter. :)

    Also on a strange note, the email for this post was just full of jibberish lol

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  3. I just got out of a THREE MONTH LONG reading slump thanks to The Wrath and the Dawn by Renee Ahdieh. If you haven't read it yet, I totally recommend it. It's fantastic!! Good luck with your evil reading slump!

    - Jazzie @ The Book Dancer

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  4. I hate #1 and #3, since those are what afflict me the most! Usually I take a break by not pushing myself not to read and not panicking when I can't make it further than a paragraph in a book I picked up! :)

    Ranu @ The Araliya Bookshelf

    ReplyDelete
  5. NUMBER 5 THOUGH I'M CRYING. XD *rolling on the floor laughing* So much accurateness. I get so slumpy whenever I start school because I'm usually super busy and my mind does not want to commit at all. I blame everything on college. -_-

    I usually read something light and fuzzy to get back into reading because it take less brain cells. But Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black was fabulous. It's easily one of my top 5 books for this year! Also, I nominate you for the One Lovely Blogger Award! http://randomofalife.blogspot.com/2015/08/one-lovely-blogger-award.html Your blog is really great and funny and I'm SO sorry I haven't commented at all for ages. >.<

    ReplyDelete
  6. OMG THIS POST. *dies laughing* Ella you are hilarious! And I'm so sorry to hear you're in a book slump - they're absolutely the worst! I hope you're able to find the perfect book that helps get you out of your slump soon. ♥ Thanks for sharing this and, as always, perfect post! xx

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  7. This was hilarious! Having just got over a reading slump, I could totally relate, especially to no3, happens to me all the time. This recent one was more of an I-want-to-read-all-the-books-so-much-all-at-once-that-I-can't-read-anything-at-all reading slump. Solved by forcing myself to pick up one book and stick with it until it was DONE (why I didn't think of doing that earlier, I don't know).
    Hope you escape the slump monster! :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. EMILY FORGIVE ME *falls onto the floor and wails*, I JUST REALISED WHY I HAVEN'T COMMENTED ON YOUR AWESOME BLOG IN AGES (*whispers, I forgot to follow you when I first found your blog*) HOWEVER, I have sorted out this problem, am now a loyal minion, and have a list of books for you to sink your teeth into:
    THE BOOK THIEF (Markus Zusak)
    THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE & I'LL GIVE YOU THE SUN (Jandy Nelson)
    COLIN FISCHER (by I can't remember who)
    RUBY REDFORT (Lauren Child)
    LANDLINE (Rainbow Rowell)
    IF YOU FIND ME (Emily Murdoch*

    P.S The gifs are, as always, amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. OH NO, NOT YOU TOO! Poor Lupe is in one too.

    Okay, I'm not exactly in a reading slump, but I feel like it. I'm in a reviewing slump. And then I started thinking about the books I don't really like and started making a post about smelly males, among other little things my mind is wrapping around. I think the fourth one is applying to me after all my catch up business in the summer.

    Have you read Red Queen or Snow Like Ashes? I adore the second one despite the love triangle.

    Okay, I adore that love triangle. It is a rarity.

    I DON'T KNOW ANY OTHERS. EVERYTHING HAS BEEN MEH LATELY.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ugh, reading slumps ARE evil. The worst one I ever had was the "My Pregnancy Hormones Won't Let Me Read" slump. It was AWFUL- I did not pick up a book for nine months, it actually made me physically ill! Luckily, it went away after I had my daughter, and did NOT happen with my son!

    As for tips, I do one of only two probably useless things: I power through, or I reread The Hunger Games. And THEN power through. I am so scared for the day that it DOESN'T work and I won't know what to do! The struggle is real. I hope your slump ends soon!
    Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight

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  11. HAHA! I LOVE THIS POST!!! =D Reading slumps are the absolute worst and I have gone through them all! I HATE THEM :)

    I'd recommend Night Owls by Jenn Bennett, that book was rather amazing! I am awaiting Queen of Shadows to blow me away and probably leave me in a reading slump afterwards because of how amazing it is!

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  12. Three and four have been happening to me lately - It's torture!!! Luckily, I just read Truest by Jackie Lea Sommers and ADORED it. Hopefully my next book will keep up the trend and not plunge me back into slump territory! (I also read What We Saw recently and adored that one too, but then read two VERY meh books, which depressed me greatly.)

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

    ReplyDelete

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